dark night, dark emotion
today i was talking abt my relationship with my boyfriend. i released my thought and idea of my problem in relationship to my other party. But unfortunatly, he didnt catch it and even quarral with me. i dont understand why but i feel very hurt and desperate. I hope i can get any reply or feedback from him but sadly he speechless and nothing to tell me. Is it the time that i need to give up my relationship or still give me one more chance or time to wait?
I think i need to learn to submit my all burdens even my relationship into god's hand. I do believe that god will help me to figure out the final answer. i still worry and unwilling to break up with him. But if it is god's will, i need to do according to his calling. God.... hope you can help me really really help me through this situation. I used to think i am not alone when i get into relationship but until today i do relaised that i am still alone even i got a boyfriend. I am alone in my life becuz he dont understand how i feel and accept my concern and advice. I am alone becuz i cannot find a way to negotiate with him. I am still alone. I am alone god. I dont feel loneliness but i feel sadness. My relationship is lack of trust how shall we keep moving on? How shall we breakthrough this? God i need your answer. i need your word is that i need to study bible, talk to my cg member and share to you and receive your words. Lord i need you. You are all i need~~~
1:00 PM
New Day, New Hope
Everyday when I wake up, I always expect sth good will happen on me. Everyday when sun rise up, I always know sth good I shall go to do today. Everday is a new day, and everyday will full of new wishes. But to me, I am always waiting for miracle occurs in my life. I am keep waiting and waiting.
Once I have done a spiritual gift quiz. And the outcome is that three of my spiritual gifts are Mercy, Miracle and Encouragement. So far, I have used my two gift to help my friends. Once my friend was emotional and cried, I do encourage her with my words and god words. Once I saw my friend very weak and ask for help, without hesitation, I will streatch my hands and help her. I have tried these two gifts from god, still figuring out what is the last gift - miracle?
I doubt whether I do have this gift - miracle? Becuz I really have no idea what is it and never see i use it before.
Till now, I still expecting there will be miracle happen into my life or i can do miracle in other ppl's life. I always believe that new day will bring new hope. I always believe this and when i see the sun rise, i always smiling to it. But when the moon come out, near the end of the day, I always feel sad and emotional. Becuz nothing good happen on me, Becuz i did nothing good into my life.
God, when's the day come to me? When's the day come to me? I keep asking him- our mighty god. God, help me~ I want to see your Mircale....
1:16 AM